Things I have learned this Christmas

I like Christmas pudding.
I love not cooking turkey.
I can't handle this pain much longer.
I miss TBO after seven hours.
It was right to move when we did.
How lovely some friends' parents were when I was growing up.
That I am knackered far too easily.
Aspie boys need to be given present wish lists.
Always buy jammies you can wear outside.
Unless you're visiting a stroppy cat, when you should wear chainmail.
Red wine gets nicer the more you spend on it.

But most of all? That despite all the pain and shit bits, my life isn't actually that bad. Roll on 2012.

Eeek!

So, who am I and where did this all come from.

I've tried to blog before and it didn't work.  Not sure why, I think it's because I did my usual thing of expecting excellence immediately, and comparing myself to people who have been blogging for years. And when I found myself wanting, I stopped.  Because it's easier to stop yourself than (a) try and fail - or worse - (b) try and succeed. 

Success is scary.

I've had ME since 2008.  I've been working since I was 19, except for the past few months when the ME made me unable to do so.  I'm really struggling with this, especially the fact that I tried to return to work but couldn't do it.  That hurt me more than I can express to people.  The fact that working for more than two hours a day made me so knackered I couldn't do anything else hurt.

I want to be able to work.  But I can't.

Failure is scarier.